Church Etiquette

In church, we step into the presence of God who is invisibly present with us. Proper attire, therefore, is modest and respectful. Clothing should help lift the human heart to heaven and away from the distractions of earthly beauty.

Let us consider our brother and sister for the sake of love. A good rule of thumb is that we wear our best.

For Women - It isn't proper to wear tightly-fitting skirts, strapless tops/dresses, or clothing with a revealing neckline. Many Orthodox traditions require women to wear clothing that covers the shoulders and the back. In some traditions, women are encouraged to cover their heads.

For Men - You should dress as if you're on your way to an important meeting. This is especially true for anyone serving in any capacity. Clothing with logos or printed material can be distracting to others.

For all - It isn't our tradition to wear shorts, beachware, gym clothes, or camo clothing to church.

Occassionally, there are circumstances that preclude us from observing these guidelines. Let us not be rigid and judge one another. In such cases, it's better to be in church and pray than to stay away. Stay toward the back and pray silently. Above all, let brotherly love, humility, and understanding prevail. We're a family.

Lighting candles is an important part of prayer and worship. We light candles when we first arrive at church. These simple physical acts are often combined with prayer and intercession. The lighting of a candles symbolizes our prayers rising to heaven. We remind ourselves:

• Christ is the Light of the world.
• Christ is also the Light of my darkened soul.

You may light candles for others, too. Young children should be assisted by an adult. It's customary to leave a donation for candles, but by no means required. 

Venerating icons is an expression of piety. You should always venerate the icons in the Narthex when you arrive. Make two small prostrations (deep bows). Kiss the icon. Make one more small prostration. Then, move to the next.

• The usual places to kiss an icon are the shoulder, hands or feet of the Saint, possibly a hand cross or Gospel book, if depicted. It isn't proper to kiss a Saint on the face.
• Ladies, we ask that you don't wear lipstick. It should be removed before venerating an icon, and certainly before approaching the Holy Chalice.
• You may venerate the icons on the iconostasis, if you arrive before the service.
• Observe the priority of honor: Christ, the Theotokos, the Forerunner, and then the Patron Saint. This means you'll criss-cross back and forth in front of the Royal Doors. Simply bow your head toward the Holy Table as you do so.
• You may also purchase vigil candles on behalf of the living and departed and set them before an icon on the iconostasis.

We live in an age of connectivity and mobile devies. These can easily become a interruption and a hinderance to prayer and worship. Here are a few guidelines:

• Cultivate the habit of disconnecting from your phone while you're in church.
• Switch off your mobile device before entering the Nave.
• It isn't proper to text in church.
• If your profession requires you to carry a phone, switch it to mute (not vibrate).
• If you're on call, sit near the back so that leaving isn't a distraction to others.

Try to arrive before the service begins. In some traditions, it's a custom to make three prostrations (deep bows) upon entering the Nave. There are times during a service when you should remain standing wherever you are: 

• when the priest is censing, until he completes the censing and enters the Holy Place;
• during the reading of the Epistle;
• during the reading of the Holy Gospel. We stand attentively, face the Holy Table and listen;
• when the Little Entrance or Great Entrance is taking place, until the priest enters the Holy Place;
• during the homily, stay at the back of the church until he concludes.

Please remember, it isn't proper to converse in the Nave of the church. If you do greet another - keep it brief and whisper quietly.

Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 19:14).

We worship together as a family; this is where kids belong. To be sure, that presents a few challenges for a growing community. They make noise; they get rambunctious.

But they can learn to be quiet, respectful, and have good manners in God's house. It takes time. We must be patient and loving with them. 

• If your child becomes fussy or gets a little out of hand, take the child to the Narthex or the cry room until the child settles down.
• If a young child is in need of a snack, take the child downstairs or to the cry room.
• It's never appropriate for a child to have food in its mouth or hands when approaching the Holy Chalice.
• Kindly don't allow a child to run up and down the Nave, play loudly, or flop around.
• Shoes that light up are one thing. Shoes that light up and make noise are another. Leave them at home.
• Similarly, toys with noise should be left at home.
• Children may partake of Holy Water after receiving Holy Communion, not before.

We're all to have the very best of manners in God's house. Love is at the top of the list. Gradually, a child will learn to have proper church behavior.

Our worship is physical. The body wants to ascend just as much as the mind and soul. We bow during worship. A simple bow of the head will do. Here are some of the practices. We bow:

• when Christ and the Theotokos are petitioned in the litanies;
• when the priest blesses you;
• when the priest censes you;
• when the priest asks forgiveness before the Great Entrance and Holy Communion. 

Making the sign of the Cross is a physical expression of worship too. Make the sign of the Cross when:

• entering or leaving the church;
• venerating icons, the Holy Gospel, the Holy Cross, and any other holy object;
• when a petition calls on the Holy Trinity (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit), the Theotokos, or the Saints.

You can make the sign of the Cross at others times. However, it isn't necessary to make the sign of the Cross when the priest blesses you or when greeting him.

It's a pious custom in some parishes for the faithful to touch the hem of his vestment during the Great Entrance as he passes by carrying the bread and wine about to be consecrated.

The tradition calls to mind the woman with the issue of blood, and many others of the sick who were healed by Jesus simply by touching the hem of His garment. (Matthew 9:20-21, 14:35-36)

• Always make room for the children up front so they can practice the custom.
• When touching the phelonion, don't pull or tug. Let it slip through your fingers.

Sitting in church isn't the normative form of prayer and worship. It's a concession. For many, it's the custom to stand throughout a service. 

Sometimes there are health considerations that prevent one from standing as much as one would like. Please feel free to sit down when you need to do so. Whenever you sit, you should be seated attentively. Keep both feet on the floor and be ready to stand.

There are times, however, when it is proper for everyone to stand. These include:

• the beginning of a service with Blessed is the Kingdom;
• when the priest turns around and blesses the people;
• when the priest censes the icons and the faithful;
• during a Little Entrance and the Great Entrance;
• during the reading of the Holy Gospel;
• at the Anaphora (consecration of the Holy Gifts);
• when reciting the Creed;
• when reciting the Trisagion;
• while the priest is distributing Holy Communion;
• at the Dismissal of a service.

Note: When a hierarch is present, out of respect, we follow his example by standing or sitting as he does.

The ancient tradition of the Church is frequent communion. The Divine Liturgy assumes you are properly prepared.

Note that we practice a Eucharistic Fast prior to receiving Holy Communion. At a minimum, the Eucharistic Fast consists of abstaining from food and water (tobacco as well) beginning at midnight before receiving communion the next morning. Medical considerations should be discussed with the priest.

While practices vary, here's how we're to receive Holy Commuion at this parish:

• step close to the Holy Chalice;
• the Altar Servers will place the communion cloth under your chin;
• state your baptismal name;
• open your mouth wide;
• close your mouth on the communion spoon and consume the Holy Gifts;
• the Altar Servers wil touch your lips with the communion cloth;
• venerate the Holy Chalice when the priest offers it;
• Make the sign of the Cross and reverently step to the side.

It's the tradition to remain standing, if you're able, until the Dismissal of the Divine Liturgy. This is done out of respect that we've been deemed worthy to partake of the Holy Body and Blood of Christ. 

In our culture, we greet one another with a handshake or maybe a hug and a kiss on the cheek. That isn't the custom when greeting a hierarch. We don't shake hands with an Archbishop or a Bishop. We bow, kiss his hand, and ask for a blessing.

Address an Archbishop as Your Eminence. Address a Bishop as Your Grace. When greeting either, it's proper to:

• make a small prostration (deep bow from the waist) touching the floor;
• hold out both hands for a blessing (right hand over the left with palms up);
• say Master, bless;
• when he places his right hand in yours, kiss his hand;
• Then, make another small prostration.

When a hierarch is present, he's the only one who blesses. The faithful receive blessings from him. Chanters and altar servers bring their robes to him for a blessing. Likewise, chanters and altar servers receive a blessing from him before removing their robes.

When a hierarch enters a room, it's the custom for everyone to stand until the hierarch bids you to be seated. After the hierarch is seated, then you may be seated.

Address the priest as Father, as he's the spiritual father and confessor of the flock. It's the custom of some to make a small prostration (deep bow) before greeting a priest; others don't. It isn't expected. When you greet a priest:

• hold out both hands for a blessing (right hand over the left with palms up);
• say father, bless;
• when he places his right hand in yours, kiss his hand;
• it's the custom then to exchange a kiss of peace (by touching cheek to cheek).

Some priests may not allow you to kiss their hand. If that's the case, ask for a blessing, but do as they wish.